What goes around, comes around. At least that is one view of the world. One brought to us by this week’s Torah portion. In parshat Vayeitzei, “and he left,” Jacob is on the run from his ancestral home where he hast just robbed his slightly older, and much stronger brother, Esau, of his birthright. He has lied to his dying father. He has taken advantage of his brother. He has left behind his mother who was both his accomplice and his only advocate. He has, indeed, left.
As I reflected upon last week, in these stories of our ancestral forebears we see cycles of behavior between victims and perpetrators. In this parsha, we see a quick return as Jacob-the-liar quickly becomes Jacob-the-lied-to by his father-in-law, Laban. Just as he takes advantage of his father’s poor vision, so too does his father-in-law take advantage of his inability to correctly identify bride standing beneath her veil. As we continue through the text, we will see these cycles of behavior visited between the next generation as well.
Thanksgiving is often a time when we experience our own family dramas; this year, played out from afar for most of us. Perhaps the distance created by a zoom get together allowed for less of Aunt-so-and-so’s triggering comments, or Cousin-such-and-such’s perpetual tardiness, but it may have exacerbated other family dynamics to an uncomfortable point. Every year as we head into the winter holidays, mental health professionals remind us to take good care of ourselves as we find ourselves embedded within our own family dynamics. This year, we navigate the normal ones in addition to all of the ones caused by our feelings about the pandemic, our country, and the world in general. So, let this week’s parsha (and the ones that follow and guide us through the winter holiday season) be a reminder of the ways in which we live out our family dramas, and an invitation to step out of them in whatever ways we can.