It’s funny which memories from our lives rise to the surface when we read Torah. Every time I read Parashat Yitro, I recall a certain time when I was a child, probably around age 7 or 8, at the kitchen table at my aunt and uncle’s house in Buffalo. I was playing chess, I think with one of my cousins, and not doing a very good job. The grown-ups in the room tried to offer me some helpful pointers; I had really only just learned to play the game recently. But instead of accepting their advice to me, a novice, I rejected it. I was stubborn, proud, and I didn’t believe that winning with help would really count as my own victory. Of course, there was no victory. I lost… and badly!
Despite the impression that experience left on me, it took me more years and disappointments to really learn that lesson—but now I know that no victory or success is truly a solo endeavor. We all need to ask for help sometimes!
So why does Parashat Yitro make me think of this childhood chess match? Because Yitro, Moses’ father-in-law, makes Moses think about the lesson! When Moses and the Israelites are at the beginning of their long desert sojourn, Moses is alone in his leadership. It is hard for him, and it seems clear that his position is neither sustainable for him nor for the Israelites!
When Yitro sees this, he does not mince words. First, he asks, “What is this that you are doing to the people?” We notice he says “to” the people, because this method of leadership will ultimately be of negative consequence to them. Then, he tells Moses outright, “This thing you are doing is not right” (the Hebrew we interpret as “not right” literally means “not good”) and advises him to appoint judges to help him manage the concerns of the people.
Fortunately for our ancestors, Moses does not require years and disappointments to learn to ask for help. Moses, in his wisdom and humility (and probably exhaustion!), accepts Yitro’s advice and creates a system of judges and counsel that echoes through our rabbinic system even today. So, whether you are like me or like Moses, let us remember that help is not something to be ashamed of. Rather, it is a fundamental ingredient to human success and thriving. According to Torah, teamwork really does make the dream work!