Imagine for a moment: you’re an ancient Egyptian going about your business when suddenly you hear the bellowing sounds of somebody wailing, echoing through the streets. You and your neighbors are concerned and go to find out what is going on. As you inquire, word starts to spread and finally reaches you. You learn that the source of the sobs is none other than Zaphenath-Paneah, grand vizier to the Pharaoh, otherwise known as Joseph.
This (admittedly embellished) scene comes to us from this week’s Parsha, Vayigash. After Joseph tricked his brothers by entrapping Benjamin with the cup, the brothers plead for his leniency. They insist that if Benjamin does not return with them, their father Jacob will surely die from the grief, compounded by the earlier loss of their other brother, who was torn by a beast. Joseph, as it happened, was not torn by a beast… but he was certainly torn then. Joseph is overcome by emotion and sends away everybody but his brothers. He then lets out a cry that is heard throughout Egypt.
We can understand Joseph’s cry; it is one of grief, frustration, anguish, and catharsis. These complex emotions have complex causes; in this moment, Joseph knows many things. He knows that his father and whole family are suffering from famine. He knows that his demand for Benjamin to join the brothers in Egypt has caused his father great pain and perhaps endangers his life. Joseph also knows that, even in that moment, his brothers lie to him about the very crime they committed against him. In the end, his concern for his father wins out over his other concerns. Joseph reveals himself to his brothers, saying, “I am Joseph. Is my father still alive?”
Joseph, in this sequence, puts on a masterclass for feeling through your feelings. He allows himself to cry (loudly), and he moves forward. He swallows his pride and reveals himself to his brothers for the sake of his father. He provides for his family by bringing them all down to Egypt to save them from the famine, and he absolves his brothers of their guilt. Again and again throughout his story, Joseph processes the events around him, considers his role in them and the stakes, and then ultimately chooses a path of life. This is one masterclass in which we should all seek to excel!