Teaching Us How To Say Goodbye
As we approach the end of the book of Genesis, our parsha features the death of not one, but two Genesis greats: Jacob first, and then his son Joseph. First, Jacob asks that upon his death he be treated with chesed v’emet, translated as “faithful kindness,” requesting that his remains be buried in the family plot back in Canaan. Then, in an impressive moment of control, Jacob sits up in his deathbed to bless each of his sons individually, before drawing his feet back into his bed and then breathing his last breath.
Joseph’s brothers remain unconvinced that he will not seek reprisals against their earlier treachery, and so they approach Joseph to beg his forgiveness. Here is what Joseph says, “though you intended me harm, God intended it for good in order to accomplish what is now the case, to keep alive numerous people… thus did he comfort them and speak straight to their hearts.” (Genesis 50:20 – 21) A few short verses later, Joseph, too, departs from the world.
According to Midrash B’reishit Rabbah, Jacob, in his dying, teaches us the “faithful kindness,” is that which the living show the dead in performing acts of burial and eulogy. Joseph, in his dying, teaches us how to forgive – by speaking straight to the hearts of those who would seek our forgiveness. Each of these men offer us lessons in the difficult art of saying goodbye; reminding us that even in the final moments of a life, forgiveness and true kindness are attainable.
Rabbi Callie Schulman